Today’s memory on Facebook from 4 years ago was a difficult moment in the struggle we went through with my son’s health for six years. I remembered our struggle deeply in a flash. The impossibility of having a seemingly mysteriously chronically sick child and how little I felt the world understood the excruciating detail of the situation even just in pragmatic ways like me trying to work and support the boys while supporting them emotionally. Six years of Marcos sick- a rollercoaster of thinking he was well and then the plummet back in to physical despair and wondering what was going on with his body. Wondering how we landed on the moon but couldn’t figure out why my boy was in severe pain over 60% of the time overall- sometimes 100% of the time. Learning how to navigate ambiguous illness in a culture that needs labels to validate experience. Understanding some people I loved or I thought loved us couldn’t handle this and faded out of our lives. But the ones that were meant to be here showed up more than ever.
Now he has been well for two years this month. Aaron was here before he was well and watched this happen and surely added some extra space to feel love and wellness. Things have stabilized and thrived for us as a family. Marcos is taller than Cristian after his growth was stunted during illness. Everything is steadying and most wonderfully, Marcos is eating a whole diet including the freedom and joy of pizza. We got through it as a family and we know what struggle is. That has made us better and wiser and more empathetic and more determined to be aligned with our hearts.
Thanks for staying with us on the journey. Gratitude is the only way and I feel it.